St. Louis. Frontenac.

Olivia and I were walking home night before last from an alternate subway that we don't usually take. As we passed the apartment buildings on the right, we noticed that one said FRONTENAC. We laughed, and made a little joke. Then we saw the next one said ST LOUIS. As it turns out, these are the two buildings that have been undergoing all the renovations for the past few weeks right outside my window. You know, the ones with the big overflowing dumpster and all the commotion. So I've been sitting here staring at St. Louis. There's some irony in this, I just need to sort it out.

FRONTENAC

ST LOUIS 

 

A couple of weeks ago we went for a walk in the park around The Meer, which is a large lake at the north end. There's also a botanical garden. As we came around a curve, there were these amazing—huge—swans.

I read this interesting article in AdWeek yesterday that stated advertising agencies are hiring again! Wow! Please tell me the exact location of these two jobs. Cause it ain't in NYC. Layoffs abound. Hiring is frozen. Just ask all those recruiters that were listed in the article, cause I called them or posted my resume on their sites. I've contacted several recruiters in the past few days, and it's the same story over and over—no jobs, no one is hiring. Some agencies are doing a sort of preliminary search to see who's around just in case they might want to hire someday. They are mostly considering people who were NOT fired in rounds of recessionary layoffs and cutbacks, cause certainly they are the most qualified. Right, the people who already have jobs. Twisted stuff. So, yeah.

Some people who might happen to read my blog do not like the current government, but I voted for it. I campaigned, went to rallies, I knocked on doors, made calls, even contributed meager amounts of my limited income, because I believe in CHANGE. I know our president was left an awful mess, that could only get worse before it would get better. I know this. I understand it implicitly. But it does not help me pay the rent. It does not help my house sell. I'm a little more than concerned about what happens next. Does everyone feel the shift? It's huge. Everyone has, or will have to, adjust what they believe to be important.

I'm astounded that as a career-professional, I am simply unable to find work, a job of any kind. I'm not whining. Really. I just want to work. I like to work, it makes me feel whole. I have always worked, even when my kids were babies. I had a successful freelance business for years. I had a project the day my grandma died, one 2 days after Olivia was born. I worked nights, weekends, holidays. I was always available, and never said no to a client deadline. I never had to look for work, it just came to me. Now I look 10-12 hours a day. It's a full time job looking for a job. Agencies won't or can't used freelancers.

A call-out to my friends out there have their own business or who know someone who does, or others who work for a company—please think of me for your marketing and advertising needs. I'll toot my own horn! I'm great at what I do. I design logos, brochures, signage, websites, marketing plans and so much more. Check out my work, and please pass it to others: coroflot.com/LisaWillard

The creativity of cooking.

I just ate my second bowl of lentil soup today. Not counting the bites I took out of the pot. And the bowl I had last night for dinner. I wonder how many calories or grams of fat were in those. But, honestly, it was the best soup I've ever had—and I made it. Who knew I could cook so well. Since I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog, I'm going to put my recipe on here anyway. Be warned: I make these things up as I go along, rarely measuring anything.

Lentil Soup
*I used half a bag of green lentils. If you want to use the whole bag, just double everything.

Saute 1/2 diced onion, 3-4 large cloves garlic in olive oil.
10-15 small tomatoes halved. Add in 4-6 chopped carrots.
(I would have added 3-4 small diced potatoes, and some celery would have been good too, or spinach, but any of those would have required me to go to the store.)
Sea salt
Lots of fresh ground pepper
Cumin
Let it cook for a few minutes until the veggies absorb the flavors.

Half bag lentils in pot with 3-4 cups waters + 1 can vegetable stock. 2 bay leaves.
(Or more stock, less water, I just had one can of stock on hand.)
Let it start to boil, then turn down to medium.
Add in the sauteed veggies.
Let the soup simmer until it reaches the thickness you like.
I like it a little thicker, so I let it cook longer.

Garnish with a few crushed pecans and a dash or two of hot sauce. I served cornbread on the side. And a Guinness. As Rachel Ray would say, "Dee-lish!"

So I look up the nutritional value, and this stuff is great for you, low in fat and calories. Yum.

Ready for snow yet?

Where have all the pretty leaves gone?

It happened so fast that I missed it. The trees that held the beautiful Fall leaves were the backdrop of my view out the window each day, and suddenly I noticed that they were gone—not the trees, the leaves. I glanced up and gasped. The rain-darkened naked trees are the last visages of the beautiful splendor. I haven't been the the Park for more than a week, so I'm sure I'll be in for a shock there too as well. I'll admit, things seems a bit more stark now.

With the leaves gone, now you can see that the SUPERMARKET is DELI as well. Interesting concept of Deli in NY. Some pre-made sandwiches and a few choice side salads of the egg, chicken and bean variety all housed behind a glass case. Not very appealing to me, even if I weren't a vegetarian.

So, yeah, food has become my new obsession of sorts. And TV. I NEVER watched television back 'home.' Ask my kids. It was almost a joke. Now I am up-to-date on all the versions of CSI, Law & Order, Glee, Gray's Anatomy, House and I've even seen a few episodes of Desperate Housewives, Oprah and Ellen. I had never watched a daytime talk show. Ever. Hey, there are a lot of hours to fill when you don't have a job. I spend 8-10 hours searching for employment, then see what's on. It's mindless pleasure. Quietly and quickly addictive. Not to worry, I still fit in my yoga session on my ever-present mat in the middle of the living room floor.

But, back to food. My favorite cable category is the Food Network—partly because I only have like 8 channels, and one of them happens to be FN. What an amazing idea. All food all the time. Really, I mean who doesn't want Paula Deen to be their mother or for Rachel Ray to whip up a 30-minute meal for you or the Barefoot Contessa to cater your next party? Who knew that when you measure sticky things like peanut butter or corn syrup you should give the cup a spritz of vegetable spray first? Or that instead of using water in your cake mix, substitute milk or buttermilk. I have a new found love of cooking, and the creative freedom it gives me, so I'm thinking—why couldn't I be a celebrity chef? Or maybe I could start my own vegetarian catering company? I could be on to something here. Tonite I'm making lemony lentil soup with carrots and potatoes, jalepeno cornbread muffins (minus the jalepenos for Olivia) and maybe a lemon pound cake with fresh whipped cream and raspberries. Dinner is my only meal of the day, so I'm really looking forward to this one.

Okay, so I'm procrastinating writing some cover letters and making those calls, but here I go.

Outside my window on a Wednesday night at midnight.

It's dark outside, but the night is lit up by the neon shop signs and street lights. There is the consistency of noise. It doesn't seem to matter what time it is, there are always people on the sidewalks talking, laughing, playing music. Right now it just feels like disturbance. I wonder about these (mostly) men who stand on corners and hang out with their chums. What would it be like to put on my big warm coat with the hood, a hat, some gloves and go stand out there with them? I want to feel their camaraderie, be a part of someone's group. But it wouldn't work. You can't just step into someone's life and expect to be accepted. Sort of like moving to New York City. A city of 8 million souls, all wanting to be a part of something, to experience human touch.

I warned myself when I moved here that the biggest, most inhabited places can be the loneliest. The more people there are, the more isolated you can feel. Who do you talk to? The cashier who rings up my hummus and bag of carrots in the corner grocery, the street vendor selling the daily fruit and vegetables, the guy who repaired my boots, the teller at the bank? Certainly not those with the vacant stares who carefully avoid eye contact on the subway cars.

I am forgetting to remember who I am, who I was when I lived in the Midwest, home for 46 years. Who was I there? It's been so long since I felt I could apply a descriptive title. Wife, art director, mom, daughter, sister, neighbor. Maybe it's too much to leave a place where all the roots of your life are embedded. We lived in Florida near the beach for less than a year when I was in sixth grade. I never understood why we moved back. I think I do now.

I find that I'm suddenly prone to anxiety attacks that occur for no apparent reason, keeping me from going out. I find excuses to just stay in. Going out seems a burden, a chore. I think having a job, a career kept me grounded in reality. Without it, I feel lost. New York has much to offer, but just not a job. 

Hey, this is no pity party. It's my reflective mood at midnight. Maybe things will look better outside my window when the sun comes up.

Tuesday, dreary Tuesday.

Looks like a whole week has gone by since my last post. Time flies when you're ...

Let's see. So much has happened.

Last Wednesday I met up with my old friend Steve Penn. We worked together too many years ago to count at Dimac, or maybe it was even called Direct Mail Corporation of America back then. It went through a few name iterations. He's a writer, but now owns an ad agency in Minneapolis. He'll probably read this, so I want to make sure to say a lot of nice things. Haha. Actually we had a great time. No awkward uncomfortable silences. Each of us had so much to say that we sometimes talked over each other. We enjoyed some nice wine and little semi-vegetarian appetizers (cause I don't think those mini-cheeseburgers he ate were veg!), at the Algonquin, then headed off to see Lyle Lovett at the Beacon Theatre. For St. Louis folks, think The Fox. Very similar feel. Now Steve wasn't previously a fan of Lyle's, but he is now! I'm a huge fan, which people sometimes find very odd, but then again, many people find me odd in general : )

Me going to Lyle Lovett

Early Friday morning, like the crack of dawn, Olivia and I headed to LGA airport to fly to Austin, Texas! We stayed in my friend's condo that is downtown in the city. It was a lovely, relaxing weekend with my girls. Got to meet the apparent future husband of my daughter Alexis! His name is Brandon. Love can happen fast when you least expect it. They are so cute together, and I've never seen her happier. At least with the boyfriend. The roommate from hell, that's a whole other blog in itself.

The Alamo

We went to see the Alamo in San Antonio, which is very much smaller than you would imagine, and ate along the famed Riverwalk. In Austin, Olivia and I were excited to spend time in a Super Target, a mall and a really big grocery store, as NYC does not have those things. Imagine life without Target??!! We enjoyed cooking in the very modern and huge kitchen—blueberry pancakes, pasta con broccoli, brownie batter and way too much food in general! We slept late, read books and hung out together. It's been such a long time.

Sisters!

  Me at The Alamo 

Libby and I left for NYC Monday morning. It was strange to feel excited to be going "home"—home that is now New York, a little apartment by the Park. We were too tired to take 2 buses and a subway, so we opted for the expensive taxi, which we never do. Right back to reality this morning with Olivia off to school and me looking for work. It's a dreary day outside my window, but the construction is active, and there is music on the street. I feel strangely happy.

Wednesday. Feels like Monday.

Only in NYC do the schools close for Election Day. At least they did not in the Midwest. Olivia got up early to go get line tickets to see the cast of GLEE at Borders. A line ticket to come back and get in line at 5 pm to have the cast sign the new CD. Mobs of young people showed up for this event. It's a great show if you haven't seen it. All about a group of musical theatre, Glee Club, kids vs. the Jocks of the school. Sort of like real life for us.

Today feels like a second Monday.

I'm sitting here anxiously awaiting a phone interview. I hate those things. It's a recruiter, with a good-sounding job at an ad agency here in town. Oh, if only... Also waiting for a potential call from another agency that needs freelance art directors. Yes, please, hire me!

So, yeah, killing time. Looking out the window at this gorgeous semi-sunny day. I fear the leaves are falling too quickly from the beautiful yellow trees in front of my building. Soon I will be left with only skeleton branches to view, and things will be a bit more stark than I would like. The changing colors of the Fall season allow us such beauty to view, but for only for a brief moment. Like all happy events in our lives, the time is fleeting. It all seems so symbolic to me at this time. Things are changing in the world, the country, my life. There's hope for new beginnings.

I've been finding the small joys in the city. Grocery stores, street vendors, the library. This week I found the most amazing shoe repair service in Midtown. A tiny hidden shop, with the most congenial black man who owns it and does the repairs. (Can I just say "black"? African American is so encumbering, and not really correct for most of the ethnic people we apply this label to.) I can't afford new boots right now, so I took in my favorite old worn out pair. They had a hole in the bottom, barely a heel left. This man put on new soles and heels, polished to perfection, for $30. They look amazing. Left another pair to get a new heel replacement—$3. While I was there, had the shoe-shine guy polish my old JCrew pair I was wearing. Man, they looked rough. For another $3, I came out of there with a shine that made them look brand new.

And our favorite bagel shop is just down the street from this shop. Everyone in NY likes H&H, but Olivia and I are big fans of Pick-A-Bagel. We will be taking some with us when we go visit Alexis in Texas this weekend! We are leaving here early Friday morning and staying til Monday. Thanks to my lovely friend Francie, we will be staying in an amazing condo in downtown Austin. Stories and photos to come!

House For Sale!

My lovely home in Belleville, IL, near St. Louis, is for sale. It's a tough market right now. Please pass these links along to anyone you think might be interested. Thanks!

http://www.fsbo.com/133869

http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/132-Barrett-Drive_Swansea_IL_62226_1113242513

MLS #2913393

 

 

 

 

Halloween in the city.

Monday morning after a holiday weekend tends to leave me with a vague hungover feeling, though not the alcoholic sort. Halloween has always felt like the precursor, the lead-off to the really big important holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas, finishing up with New Years. There's the Halloween build-up beginning with the little mini bags of candy, supposedly for trick-or-treaters, arriving in drug stores seemingly around mid-July. (Is it any coincidence that Americans have their biggest weight gain in the months September-January?) Then for weeks hearing your kid say, "What should I be?" Meaning 'what amazing costume will you whip up for me on a moment's notice mom?'

It could not have been a more perfect day in New York for Halloween. It was so fun seeing all the little kids — and some big ones too — dressed up all over the city that afternoon. Olivia and I had lunch at our favorite spot in Hell's Kitchen called Amy's Bread. Sort of like Panera, except tiny and they have really amazing bakery goods. It's hard to pick one thing. Then we traveled down, over, to St. Mark's Place in the Village. It feels like home to us over there. Artsy-types, college kids, real bohemian. Sort of an artist, theatre-kid, yoga-loving, vegetarian's paradise. The sidewalks were crammed with people trying on crazy wigs and sunglasses, attempting to pick out their Halloween costume.

Zachary called to say he got his license that morning! Very exciting for him. He was going to Fright Fest at Six Flags, so that would be a fun evening. As Olivia got ready to go out, I suddenly realized I would be sitting here alone. Then I was invited to go to the parade with a friend. I only planned to go for a while. As the group grew—a veritable Benetton ad in the making—I went along with the evolving plans, and ended up having a nice time at a W bar, then hanging out in someone's amazing 58th floor apartment. Here's a view taken with my iPhone, so the quality isn't great, but you get the idea:

Here's Olivia and her friends at the Halloween parade in Greenwich Saturday night. The weather that day was beyond perfect. About 70 degrees and no rain. Right around parade time, the rain arrived. With the rain, her friends lost enthusiasm, went home, and Olivia found herself back at the apartment eating pizza in her pjs. How ironic that I ended up out on the town.

Sunday was the NYC Marathon. I've seen it on TV for years, and couldn't believe my good fortune to be able to walk 2 blocks down the street to watch the real thing. It was quite amazing to see some of the 42,000 runners go down 5th Ave. The weather was really great for them, mild, in the 50s with no rain. Olivia and I walked in the Park for a while. The north end of Central Park is a much-missed area for tourists and visitors. I had never been there until I moved to this area. It's really beautiful, especially now with all the leaves changing color. We have some photos with Libby & the swans that I need to get off her camera.

Then we decided to hang out like NYU students in a coffee shop near the campus. Hooked up our laptop, and sat at tiny tables while balancing cups of steaming chai tea. Good for people watching, but tough for getting homework done. Returned home late in the day to finish up yet another Franny and Zooey project.

Since we had no Halloween candy at all, Olivia decided we needed to venture out to the local CVS in the 'hood to see if they had any 50%-off bags. We bundled up with hats and gloves, and headed out into what was already nighttime. Found several bags of the peanut-buttery types that she loves, but had to get past the already emerging Christmas displays. Geez. We returned to find that someone had placed a piece of candy at each apartment door in our building. I found that so touching in this city where people pass in a blur on the street, but where we are all looking for some amount of human kindness.

I always feel a bit thrown off by a time-change. That one little hour can play havoc with your body. I really hate the idea of it getting dark a whole hour earlier. I'll never quite understand the whole concept.

It seems really quiet outside my window today. I think people are recovering from their sugar highs. I, of course, continue my search for a job this morning.